There was a time when the phrase "performance Vauxhall" conjured up images of a teenager in a sideways Astra, rear tyres smoking and windows down, blasting something unholy from the speakers. It was chaos. It was wonderful. And it had largely disappeared.
Until now.
Because Vauxhall - sensible, practical, dad-jeans Vauxhall - has decided to bolt a little bit of electricity into the chassis of its compact crossover and bring back the spirit of GSi, only this time with a lower-case 'e' stuck on the end.
It is the Mokka GSe. And against all odds, it is rather good.
Power, Numbers, and Mild Panic
Let's start with the facts, because that's what you came here for before getting distracted by nonsense metaphors.
Under the bonnet - or wherever they hide motors in these things - sits a 156bhp electric motor. This gets its juice from a 54kWh battery, good for a claimed 252 miles of range. That's more than enough for the school run, the big shop, and several loops of the McDonald's drive-thru to try and convince the staff you didn't order a Diet Coke.
0-62mph takes 8.6 seconds. Now, you may not leap out of your seat at that, but in the real world it's quicker than it needs to be. Instant torque and no gears mean it feels sprightly from the off. It won't set lap records at the Nürburgring, but it might beat your mate's Golf TDI to the next roundabout. And frankly, that's more fun anyway.
What's in a GSe, then?
The GSe badge, Vauxhall tells us, marks the birth of a new "electrified performance sub-brand." A phrase that sounds like it was written by someone in marketing who's never exceeded 43mph. But the good news is they've done more than just stick a badge on the back and fiddle with the fonts.
The GSe gets a revised chassis, with stiffer springs and retuned dampers. The steering has been recalibrated to feel more direct, and there's a sense that someone somewhere has actually driven this car quickly before signing off on it.
Visually, it's got just enough attitude. Gloss black bits. Diamond-cut wheels. And a stance that says "I might be an EV, but I'm not here to save the polar bears." It's not aggressive, but it does look a bit like the standard Mokka's been hitting the gym and drinking slightly fewer oat lattes.
Inside the GSe: Batteries, Screens and Stitching
Step inside and it's clear the GSe wants to be taken a bit more seriously than the ordinary Mokka. The seats are trimmed in Alcantara with yellow contrast stitching, the dash gets a splash of gloss black (which is already covered in fingerprints), and the whole place feels more 'warm hatchback' than 'eco-conscious beige box'.
You get two screens - one in front of you, and one in the middle - both reasonably slick and responsive. Nothing revolutionary, but nothing to complain about either. It's a cabin designed to work, not win design awards. And it does. Everything's where you want it. Everything's logical. Even the climate controls are still actual buttons. Vauxhall, bless them, hasn't gone full touchscreen lunacy just yet.
On the Move: Better Than It Has Any Right to Be
So how does it drive?
Well, here's the surprise. It's rather fun. Not hilarious, not 'night out in a Civic Type R' fun, but genuinely enjoyable. It handles with a sense of precision that most crossovers abandon in favour of softness and slop. The ride is firm, but not crashy. The steering is sharper than expected, and there's just enough grip to make you smile without making you nervous.
Being front-wheel drive, it does understeer if you push like an idiot, but otherwise it feels balanced. Stable. Pointy enough to enjoy on a B road, calm enough not to throw the kids into the ceiling on the school run.
It's still a crossover, of course. There's only so much you can do with a high-riding hatchback. But it's about as close to fun as this segment gets without slapping on a BMW badge and a very big price tag.
So, Is It Worth It?
That brings us neatly to the issue of money.
The Mokka GSe starts at around £40,000. Which is… well, it's quite a lot for a Vauxhall. You could have a Volkswagen ID.3. Or a Tesla Model 3. Or, if you're brave, a used Jaguar I-Pace with all the reliability of a wet toaster.
But those cars are serious. They talk about emissions and efficiency and sustainability. The Mokka GSe talks about having a laugh on the way to Tesco. And that makes it a bit of a unicorn. It's not the best electric car. It's not the fastest. But it's trying to do something different in a sea of sameness.
You're paying, in part, for character. And for the novelty of telling someone you bought a Vauxhall because it was the most fun choice.
Final Thoughts: Vauxhall's Little Electric Fighter
The Mokka GSe is not a hot hatch in disguise. It doesn't pretend to be a sports car. What it is, is a properly sorted, mildly athletic, surprisingly engaging electric crossover.
Yes, it's a bit expensive. Yes, it's still front-wheel drive. And no, it won't set your hair on fire. But it will surprise you. Which is more than can be said for most cars in this category.
It's as if someone at Vauxhall went a bit rogue - slipped some Red Bull into the office coffee and said, "what if we actually enjoyed making this one?"
The result is a car that won't change the world. But it might just make the school run a bit more entertaining.
And in 2025, that's more than enough.
If reading about fast, silent motoring has sparked something in you, why not experience it for yourself? Our Electric Car Driving Experiences put you behind the wheel of tomorrow's technology today - instant torque, precision handling, and grin-inducing speed, all without a single drop of petrol. It's electrifying fun with none of the usual noise. Literally.
